Rantings

I'm staring at a half empty bottle of medicine. I've near emptied this bottle in 2 hours, and I went through one this morning. Am i going to die? or will my throat heal? No genius, I'm not suicidal, lozenges taste nice after a while. The label reads, 'suck one tablet 3 hourly as needed.' I decided to do a bit of selective reading, I only saw, 'suck one tablet as needed.' Seeing as i need them continuously to keep my throat from becoming as raw as a cannibal's steak, I suck one every other 3 minutes.
Lozenges, they are a hell of a drug.

Yooooh, being home doing NOTHING, in WHITERIVER, is shockingly boring! Seriously, it's so bad, I've been experimenting with home made bombs. Just need some chlorine to make the bang a bit louder, and I'll be well on my way towards being Osama's secretary. There's just one part I don't like about home made bombs, unlike the firecrackers you buy at a retail shop, or the military issue bombs, they don't have a fuse or detonator. Most suicide bombers usually have a finger or two missing, premature detonation is a common thing when you use handy Andy and jik extracts to make a bomb. I'm not looking to kill anyone, just need to know how to make a bomb for general knowledge. In case anyone of you ever piss me off, or I decide to run for president and try and take out someone personally.

Most of my friends are looking forward to seeing the freshmen next year. The males ones that is, it's hunting season gentleman, and the single guyz will be looking to get their fair share of meat. First year guys better go and enjoy themselves during o-week. Although that's impossible for most of them, besides the fact that most will look like lost sheep, they spend the most part of o-week tanked out of their minds. Then the experienced seniors come through on the back end of o-week, with sweet charm, knowledge of where the bathroom is, and a talent to pick out the girls like Micheal Jackson picks lil boys in a orphanage.

The first year craze isn't exactly something I can relate to. I haven't gone out with anyone younger than me ever, had a long term fling with a girl younger than me, but she's in my year, and her maturity level is greater than a 24 year old. It's annoying to try and have a conversation with someone who isn't as mature as you are. Imagine talking about the greater meaning to music, and how the lyrics to some song hold deep meaning and she looks at you and goes, 'ya, i like the lead singers hair.' They are some immature retarded girls out there, they usually are as hot as hell, but retarded none the less. I mean if I could go out and get a hot dumb ass girl and she said nothing the whole night, that would be great. If they just kept quiet, just laughed at my lame jokes, made out with me and went away, that would be great.
BUT , they have to talk, they have to say something retarded, some huge turnoff like,' your tongue feels like wiggly soft toes.' B"*$£ what the hell were you doing sucking toes!! How am I supposed to continue a night with stuff like that.

Anywho, That's all for today folks, I'm hungry, need to feed the monster within...

Random evening with the cripple to be

WHITERIVER is slowly draining the life out of me!!! I think I'm hyperactive cause sitting at home just isn't doing it for me. You can only watch DStv for so long, and my gosh can it be boring. Anyone ever notice that its so possible for all 151 channels to all be showing absolute crap at the same time. It's a plot to bore me to death.

BUT BUT, there was some action today....New Zealand demolished England 32-6 in the rugby and were very unlucky not to win by more. I'm sure all you springbok supporters are cursing my existence, well kiss ALL BLACK ass!! I'm as patriotic as the next South African, i just happen to support New Zealand in rugby, Australia in cricket, ARSENAL in football and Kimi and not necessarily Ferrari in formula one.....You might wonder why the last two are relevant to international sport, well if you've noticed most South Africans support Manchester United, and Ferrari, and recently that Black boy Lewis 'the championship stealer' Hamilton.

I'm not a South African supporter because i lived in Zimbabwe for quite a while, and South Africa always disrespected all our national teams, sending their 3rd string rugby side to play Zim. I don't care if the first team would have mauled them 200 - 0, it at least shows some sort of respect. Also my brother is a supporter of Manchester, the boks and all things South African, and seeing as he bullied my tiny self for years i choose to support everything he didn't.

The tables have turned though, his smaller than me now, weighs less, looks worse, and drinks more, so what goes around does come around, unfortunately we don't fight anymore, I'd have loved to show him a combo that Tyson would be very proud of. Violence is no longer the way forward, instead i jab with my razor sharp armour piercing mental spear. I'm not twisted or evil, i just know what to say when I need to make you feel pain and anger. Human emotion is predictable and easy to bring out if you pay attention to people's reactions. Although I can use my words to hurt, I often use them for good too, like making girls blush when I complement their beauty with a silky smoothness that leaves them wondering if I am man or Demi-god....OK, maybe blowing my own horn there a bit, but its not like YOU are going to blow it for me so back off and shut your jaws.

UUUh, I have a dilemma. What would you choose, pain coupled with popping some strong painkillers which leave u with a high effect, or going for surgery, spending about a month in hospital, another or more in crutches while going for therapy to teach that one leg to do what it has been doing for 19 damn years. Imagine looking down at your leg and asking it to follow the left legs lead, pleading with it to move, might have to bribe it with a promise of a foot massage and possibility of getting it a pair of crocs for Christmas......( by the bloody way, do you own a pair of crocs? If you do ,what's wrong with you, they look horrible and cost a fortune, since when has plastic with holes cost R400!! shame on you, but I command your bravery for walking out in those, or even facing your mirror).Anyhow that's the choice I face, a life of pain, or surgery and struggle for a few months after and probably Christmas in bed, and missing the great new years party we had planned!! O.k maybe I'll get the surgery straight after the party, that wouldn't be so bad. Not like I have anything to do in January anyhow.

While I'm ripping at all the croc-wearers, I might as well take a rip at all the jean dropping, wanna-be gangsters. What in Santa's name makes you think it's cool to drop your pants? Like showing the world your underwear makes you gangster. Now lets evaluate the pros and cons of dropping your pants...
PROS......
1. Your idiotic friends, who are nearly as big enough losers as you think you are 'cool,' sheep!
2. Wait for it, wait for it,........ah......nope.....I got nothing,(IF you 'thugs' come up with something, put it as a comment, I'll be sure to publish a retraction, as if, this ain't the Sunday Times!!)
Cons..
( I'll try and limit them, trust me they are that many)
1. Lets start with the gangster cons, 'niggas' and 'wiggas'(you know yourselves), if shit gets real, and the cops show up, RUNNING BECOMES DIFFICULT WITH YOUR JEANS WRAPPED AROUND YOUR KNEES. I don't care how gangster you are, you see the 5-0(a.k.a the popo, men in blue, pigs, feds, my worst nightmare, bribe takers..etc) you run like the spirit of your long dead messenger great ancestor has possessed you. If you are white, and don't have one of these, then run like you discovered a new island..(we know blacks didn't discover shit, intentionally).
2. GIRLS DO NOT FIND IT ATTRACTIVE. no girl in her right mind could possibly find dropped jeans attractive, unless you are out looking for the gangster girls who will stab you for suggesting you take a break from your relationship, then go right ahead.
3. THE BEST RAPPERS DON'T DROP THEIR PANTS, ever seen Jay-z with his pants dropped?, Lil Wayne maybe, but that's o.k for a guy who mumbles through kiddy rhymes in all his songs.
4. NAME ONE WEALTHY MAN WHO DROPS HIS PANTS, can you imagine Bill Gates stepping into the board room with his pants dropped yelling 'yo yo yo my cash money hommies.' Exactly, impossible.
5. IT defies the purpose of wearing pants if it looks like you just want your boxers to show. Wear boxers, long socks made of jean material and sneakers instead.

For the sake of keeping my readers from going into a fit of boredom, or hunting you pant dropping fools down, I'll move on.

You know what's cool, besides me, TATTOOS. Gosh I want one, but I'm not sure what of. Maybe a huge V on my back, with snakes, panthers, lions and other deadly animals wrapped around it. But i guess that wouldn't signify much, just that I'm V and I like scary animals. That isn't exactly what I'm aiming for. I'm looking for something I can be proud of, something that represents the struggle that has been my life, and has significant meaning to me and also serves as a reminder of the great people I've lost. How's about Gandhi holding a black rose in one hand, and a white shining sword in the other? Black rose representing death and pain, Gandhi himself a symbol of strong belief and determination to make a difference even though he had to go on a major diet to get noticed, and the white sword a sign of the peace to be achieved through fighting on, and showing my willingness to continue in life and never giving up!!!
Brilliant isn't it..If I find out anyone has one of those, they are sooooo going down!!!

I should copyright all my ideas from now on, before one of you gets rich from one of my suggestions.

Anyhow, I have to cook my own supper, ribs and chips here I come...

The opposite sex, love, relationships and everything inbetween

If you are a normal person, without serious mental and emotional issues, like bankruptcy, family feuds and running away from the debt collectors, then THE OPPOSITE SEX is the dominate time consumer in your life... Ladies, you all are a miracle and absolute curse to men...well most men, GAY guys, this isn't the blog for you. Whether we are chasing just your ass or the more mature and advanced of us who seek companionship and love, we essentially want you as much as you want us. Notice I said WANT and not NEED. Needs are necessary to survival, your species just enhances it.
Firstly let’s address the issue of attraction. PLEASE do not call me shallow for saying its looks first, then the personality and understanding later. THE DIFFERENCE IS PREFERENCE, some guys prefer girls with skinny model like bodies, some like curves and a few like fat and wobbling asses. I just happen to like them with my version of hotness. Yeah so the girls I date are considered very hot by the majority of the population, the minority being the blind people who I can forgive. But as I said that’s my preference, just as some prefer LEVI to NIKE.

But don't think you hotties can just step up and think I’m going to give you a chance; it's certainly not that simple. I look for a complex personality, one that I can't figure out or categorize into one type of girl. Need a girl who’s smart, crazy, adventurous yet reasonable, thoughtful, caring and has a different and objective perception of the world.

Dating......is it overrated? Is it more of a hustle than it's worth or is it a matter of give and take in an effort to have a near fairytale relationship. Sadly dating is simple, and has a worse success rate than marriage, which in itself is at an unimpressive 48%!!!! Imagine giving your life to someone to have a less than 1 in 2 chance of the marriage surviving, isn't that a crappy situation to be in... Dating is even worse; it has a lesser chance of working out. Worse than the chance of getting tails on the flip of a coin.

I recently had a near 2 and a half year relationship fail, not because of the female species, but my own problems with trust and issues that deserve a book on their own. It was near perfect; she loved, or loves me with a passion that I could not begin to describe. Our relationship worked because of one essential thing, we were friends and not just a couple.

That's the problem; too many people go into relationships seeking the general status of having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. The need to just have someone to put on your arm and look good with in public and to satisfy the craving of physical touch. We all need to know we are wanted, and some crave that attention. That leads to a superficial relationship that doesn't last because past the physical part, you hardly know each other or what the other wants, you don't understand each other’s emotions. I mean they are guys who can't even tell after 10mins of speaking to a girl they have been with for 6 months whether or not she is on her period.....I'm not saying that’s a true measure of how well you know a person but it’s certainly a bit of an indicator of some sort of knowledge of your lady friend.

LOVE....mmh, now there's a certainly interesting topic. Who can define love, and how long does it take for one to be INLOVE??????????? What is the difference between being in love and loving someone????? To love is to regard something or someone with affection that is tender and true, this may arise from being family members, or being part of a nation or team.
To be in love , is to passionately, wholly and truly love and want to be with someone.....Thus there is a large difference between loving someone and being in love with someone

Personally if a person tells you they are in love with you after a month of knowing you, I think they are talking shit! Being in love is different from loving as I stated above. After a month are you willing to trust that someone can put you before themselves and would honestly exchange their life for yours?????The guy or girl hardly knows what your favourite colour is, and it's more than certain you have mentioned it more than once, and if they haven't asked that cliché question yet, then they truly aren't in love with you, and neither do they know what it means to be in love.
At that point, you proceed to kick them out, or walk out.....

Ladies, have you noticed how guys are always first to rush into saying they are 'in love' with you....in other words, they want to rip your panties off and pleasure themselves....NOTICE, once again, I said THEMSELVES.....This is the part of the blog were all my player friends curse me as the bane of their existence....forgive me hommies, for this is an unbiased blog, i'll pimp you guys out sometime next week. And to those going,' this nigga has gone gay,' showing emotion doesn't mean you aren't manly. Contrary to those that believe being emotional is gay and not manly, you are sorely mistaken chaps. CONTROL of your emotion determines how manly you are, not being devoid of all emotion!!.....That my unenlightened, egotistic, ball rolling, manly friends, is what being a true man is about. STOISISM, that is what I have just defined, the ability to control all emotion, a common practice amongst the Roman leaders who defined a man by his ability to remain dignified and calm in all situations. That does not mean they lacked emotion and became cold hearted, insensitive idiots. And as far as I’m concerned they were the manliest males to ever grace the earth. Except for their slight ego trip...

Back to the ladies, most guys say they are in love because they want you to think they care for no-one else but you. For you to feel so special that you can't help but gift them with the great glory of slipping between your legs. And why did I say those type of guys look to pleasure themselves? For those ladies who have had sex, if a guy makes no attempt at kissing you during foreplay or sex , or worse off after you have had sex, he doesn't care much about you. Secondly if a guy doesn't attempt to pleasure you as much as possible before going to full on sex, he obviously doesn't know that it takes longer for girls to reach climax than do guys, and certainly cares very little about you getting there. His in it for himself. So be careful about who you fall for girls, and certainly don't just split your legs to every idiot who says you are his world.

WOW, just realised I’ve drank more than 8 litres of dilution in two days, I drink more soft drinks than I do plain water. Then again who doesn't right? Sorry, had to get a snack, so my train of thought has eluded me. Who’s seen the new longer lunch bars, pretty neat how they've given us an extra quarter length, for about the same price....That just for now, I’m sure as soon as the promotion is over, it will be nearly twice the price of a normal bar. JOYUS day, the price of fuel is going to come down by another R1.33 that means it will be about 6.95 a litre... Hard to believe it was at 10.95 just two and a half months ago.
I'm from zim ok, not used to prices going down, just floating upwards at rocket rates.....back to the subject at hand...

So, can you trust someone fully, with your life, and always be 100% sure they will put your needs before their own? I think we should not fear loving, or falling in love. It's painful yes, and it hurts so much when it ends that you feel like ripping your own heart out to stop it from hurting...Trust me, I’ve been there. This quote does it for me; it simply states why we carry on putting ourselves out there to be hurt.

"Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration." - D. H. Lawrence

But do not be ignorant and just fall in love without knowing the person very well, the pain is only worth it when what you share ends untainted by hate and regret and you can look back and be glad to have gone out with the person regardless of the copious amount of pain that the end of the relationship brought.

The end of a relationship in which two people were truly in love does not mean that they stop loving each other, refer to my two definitions above...ok if you don't understand why, I’ll educate you. Simply put, time can fade passion but it cannot fade affection or admiration of certain characteristics that a person possesses. Thus if they have not changed dramatically, you will still love who they are even after years of being apart. Possibly some of the passion will never die and you will feel it whenever you see each other. It is accepting this and not trying to fight it that leads to truly moving on.

It is more than possible that you will feel more passionately about someone else without forgetting the other... so the goal is not to try and forget, but instead to accept the state of affairs.

That last paragraph is essentially what I've resolved to do with my ex-girlfriend instead of running off to another university or country as I contemplated before.

Good luck to all of you, may your hearts be full of joy and may you survive the torture and gift that is love, relationships and everything in between

My first blog....

It's a well known fact that creative writing isn't my foray of expertise. Creativity is always left to the 'arty-type' who fabricate paintings, poems, and fantasy characters like barney without so much as a drop of sweat....Hi-5 to the chap who created barney, what a way to go and give children the idea that hugging monsters is showing love....and then u blame Micheal Jackson when they run at his porky face with smiles....
Lets not stray too far from the topic at hand...wait there is none....
I will type whatever comes to mind, in the most crude and unrefined writing style possible(not intentionally, i just suck at English, yes Ray u were right , i paid for that 'A')

its 3.45am , sitting on a comfortable bed, with a half bottle of dialution(a.k.a coke to you non-alcoholics, and quitters in the AA!!) on my bed side table.
due to my desperate state of boredom and lack of entertainment , I've chosen to entertain, if not enlighten you on my somewhat different perspective on the world....

Firstly , I'd like to clear something up, i am not a super geek genius, neither am i a 'wanna-be American gangster', and people , i don't walk around like I own the world, 'although daddy has the title-deeds to half of it, Billy-G has the other half'., I HAVE A LIMP, my hip bone, also known as the femur, grinds against my pelvis and the ligaments and tendons surrounding the hip joint as a result of an injury i sustained years ago.....walking pains me with every step, short of morphine shots every half hour, nothing can take away the pain, I JUST HAPPEN TO LOOK PRETTY GOOD PULLING OFF THE WALK.....so stop hating y'all

Moving on...i have just completed my first year at Rhodes university, with half a liver left, great memories, many insane pictures, scars on my knees from crawling home, and a few regrets....
I can certainly say this has been the best year of my life....I owe a huge thank you to my EX-girlfriend, who i followed loyally to Rhodes instead of pursuing my hearts desire,actuarial science at U.C.T...many are shaking their heads at this moment , thinking why would i thank her after i followed her to Rhodes then proceeded to break up....well that's for another blog entirely, maybe a book to encompass a long story spanning 3 years in total....


Rhodes was my holiday destination, i feel like I've just got home from Ibiza or long beach...'yeah right' I'm sure u are thinking... but in all honesty, first year has been a gap year with a bit of homework and spot tests here n there...(no disrespect to those that had to battle through) ...When u spend all your money on booze, hangover water( water in Grahamstown is shit, no really u can see the shit floating in the glass) food and club entrance fees, u know u are on vacation....all i needed was one of those tourist waist-wrap-around pouches, and a passport stamp so i cud officially be a tourist.

Gosh we partied, every week, without fail we were out there doing it like we were doing it for t.v.....

but Rhodes isn't amazing for me just because of partying, besides the fact that its the only varsity that u can walk around on campus on at 4a.m and not get mugged for yo cheap phone, it also offers a diverse group of people and characters...
u can choose to look at it from two perspectives, 1. people reveal their true colours at Rhodes, were swinging the other way is promoted, and were your parents law, or hometown culture has no hold over you...
OR 2. PEOPLE PUT UP A FACADE as they attempt to be who they are not, metamorphosing from their geeky or reserved selves in high school to the party freaks who want to fit in with the mob......

i'd like to hope i haven't changed into one of the 'fakes'. Change is good, only if it is for the betterment of one's self and not to impress others. i pity those that need attention from others by being what they are not, in the end you can only lose yourself.

in all respects, varsity is a place to explore the depths of yo character and to do all the crazy things yo heart desires before you are too old or have too many responsibilities....for example. BUSH DIVING, its an insane thing to do. Hurling yourself at a thick bush in the hopes that it will catch and throw u back whence you came,..at 19 , drunk n nothing to lose u can afford risking flying over or threw the bush to the hard skull cracking concrete floor(trust me ive seen it happen), at 30 , you will probably have a wife and kids to think about......YEAH so im pushing an EXtreme example through , but truth is, these are the prime years, the best years of our lives, were we are only responsible for ourselves and nothing and no-one else.......

If u aren't out there going wild and crazy, do something about it, before life passes you by......

wow..ive babbled for quite a while, with bright red eyes and a sore neck, i move to retire..all in favour say 'I'.....IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..........i bet you said 'I' , hahaha,....