Sundays , our punishment for living

If there is a day that could cause you to go stack raving mad, it's sunday!!! Sunday means you either have to go back to work or if you are the unlucky scholar, you have to do the work you put off on friday and saturday so you could go out partying or so you could sit and watch the marvel of boredom that is dstv!!.

Sunday is the day you read the newspaper, bake or attempt to bake something that resembles a cake( and tastes like ash), lounge around flipping channels, hanging with a few friends who are as bored as you are, watching soccer, washing cars and if you are like most rhodes students, recovering from a hang over while trying to do the work you have due the next day. The worst sundays are the rainy ones, not only are you bored out of your skull, it has to rain so you are confined to your house, not like you were going to go anywhere, but you like knowing you have the liberty to go and walk around aimlessly at the mall.

Only thing you can look forward to on sunday is going to church to drink free wine. O.k fine , they only let you have a sip, but ive always wanted to grab the whole cup and make a run for it. I'm sure those priests love alcohol so much they would spear tackle me before I make the door. Would be hard to explain that one to GOD on judgement day, mmmmmmh, 'Lord i was really thirsty and you provided a whole cup, they just didn't want to let me have it!!!'

Facebook is the bane of my existence, I'm chatting to people on it and trying to type out this blog, while replying to numerous wall posts..Question? what did people do with their spare time before facebook?? People have been fired from work for facebooking during hours, SASOL have blocked facebook on their company pc's, so have many other companies. Even certain government institutions have, what the hell would a minister be doing on facebook anyhow?? But once again, given the ANC's tendency to throw lavish parties...LOL could just see Jacob Zuma tagging Manto after a huge boot, and the comment would be, 'awe doc beetroot i see you getting down ntwana!!!' HAHAHAHAHAHA, must have been a laugh when Thabo got sacked from ANC presidency, Jacob must have had numerous wall posts, all the butt kissers and his adoring fans.

Just so you all know, I think his the biggest idiot this side of the equator, George Bush is holding down the other side! Talking about Bush , did you all see his mutant like reactions when the Iraqi journalist threw shoes at him. It's obvious he played quite a bit of dodge ball as a kid. The journalist though obviously didn't think out his escape plan, or he didn't read up on what would happen to him. In Islam culture , throwing a shoe at someone is the worst possible insult you could cast upon them, and their law states that all visiting heads of state are to be awarded a status similar to their president , his throwing of the shoe was equivalent to that of a goat biting the alpha males tail in a pride of hungry lions....His going to jail for 15 years...for throwing a shoe!!

He should have tried that with Mugabe, they would have been no trial, he wouldn't have seen day light again. They would beat and torture him for information that he doesn't have obviously, cut his testicles off, and burn his ass before half drowning him in a sack over a bridge. He wouldn't be killed because the international community would be watching. But seeing as an attempt at Mugabe's life is punished by death by hanging, it wouldn't make much of a difference. How do i know about all these torture techniques, well my weed guy in zim was a C.I.D, kinda like the F.B.I of zim. He lived down the street, very nice guy, but very lethal, i was convinced he could kill with his pinky finger!! But like every zim person, he was making money on the side doing illegal stuff because he knew how to beat the system, and when he got drunk he told a few of us of the nasty things he had done to certain people.


O.k, i knew some wacky people, but it made my life that much more colourful. I don't look to know such people, i just somehow become friends with them. For example, my aunt owned a nightclub in zim, she hired a bouncer, Vacks, we became good friends because he was a wacky guy who loved cars, good music and had a thing for short girls. He later told us he was a presidential body guard, we all thought he was joking and that he was just a gym monkey, till he tore a guyz stomach open with his bare hand, and kicked the other guys teeth out in one swift jet li move. You don't see people move like that except for in the movies.

Anyhow, I'm starving , it's like 23.15 and i haven't had anything to eat since noon, time to go raid the fridge, omelette du fromage anyone???

Its BEEN A SECOND

Firstly to those that follow my blogs religiously, im terribly sorry for going M.I.A for so long. I went to Durban for a week, and when I came back my familia had invaded my house and the good times just kept flowing. My cousins are absolutely insane, that's one thing that certainly runs in my family, INSANITY...From downing drinks at 11a.m knowing we have to show up at home sober as a priest on a monday afternoon, to getting cars impounded, what a holiday, definately one of my best ever.

IN the stale, left over spirit of x-mas cheer, HAPPY NEW YEARS everyone, I do hope it will be a prosperous and toning year for all. WHY toning you may ask? simply because I think obesity is becoming an issue in South Africa. Just open your eyes to the number of over weight kids in the mall. PARENTS, they arent lil piglets to be fed when ever they oink. No really , you might think i'm mean and i don't like fat people, but seriously, they are so many overweight people out there. EAT YOUR DAMN GREENS, get bio slim for your b-day instead of a huge cake, buy gym equipment instead of playstations and fancy hand bags ladies!!!

Jogging isn't the only way to lose weight, do some sit ups, push ups, squats, butterflies, we all did these small exercises in prep school during physical education...STOP BEING LAZY, its no excuse for being overweight.

Alrite then, now that i've taken a wack at the PORKIES of this world, lets move on to an interesting topic,' EVIL WAY TO DUMP YOUR PARTNER...'
This topic came up the other day when I was chatting to a frend. Here is a great way to hurt someone who has hurt you....:

MY absolute favourite....A sticky note on the door, or fridge, or a noticeboard in a residence or at work....Just imagine walking up, think 'OH thats weird don't remember leaving a sticky note' then reading, 'dear EX of mine, ITS NOT ME, ITS YOU, I'm tired of faking the moaning and groaning, bye, forever, don't call me.

(lol) imagine your boss reading you the sticky note after finding it on the staff noticeboard....

CRUEL

I don't think I could ever do that to someone, but I think a modern way of being very hurtful is dumping a person on facebook. Believe it or not, it does happen, And i certainly know a few people its happened to. I WOULD HUNT YOU DOWN IF YOU DUMPED ME ON FACEBOOK....Angry wouldn't be the word to describe the raging fury that would be unleashed upon that unfortunate soul...

k, lets move on...I've had so many thoughts about what to put on a blog lately, but I can't pick any that's better than the other....

I've recently realised being single is the good life. Love is great, flings are fun, but relationships are very serious. Ever realise how you feel obligated to do certain things in a relationship. The same place you loved going to when you were single to see that someone you have your eye on, becomes the place YOU HAVE to go to see them once you start going out. You suddenly feel bad when you forget to send an sms, you have to MAKE time in your schedule to see them, its no longer unplanned random meetings, its 'what time will I see you tomorrow,' not a, WILL I SEE YOU TOMORROW.....
YOU start filtering your speech, you can't flirt freely and openly with every girl in sight, you can't hang with your boys till 2a.m with her waiting on you.

They are a few couples who have very free and open ,mature relationships which don't suffer from such choking problems.... but i guess when you love someone enough it's a joy to fit them in to your schedule everyday ......I was terrible at that, went to visit my ex 4 or 5 times in 7 months....I wasn't very considerate back then, wonder why she put up with it.....

The more i think about it the more i realise I'm becoming allergic to relatonships. Or at least fear them more than I used to....

I'm fallin asleep here....think I'l leave this blog as is....definately not at my best, but you know I've got you thinking.