Random evening with the cripple to be

WHITERIVER is slowly draining the life out of me!!! I think I'm hyperactive cause sitting at home just isn't doing it for me. You can only watch DStv for so long, and my gosh can it be boring. Anyone ever notice that its so possible for all 151 channels to all be showing absolute crap at the same time. It's a plot to bore me to death.

BUT BUT, there was some action today....New Zealand demolished England 32-6 in the rugby and were very unlucky not to win by more. I'm sure all you springbok supporters are cursing my existence, well kiss ALL BLACK ass!! I'm as patriotic as the next South African, i just happen to support New Zealand in rugby, Australia in cricket, ARSENAL in football and Kimi and not necessarily Ferrari in formula one.....You might wonder why the last two are relevant to international sport, well if you've noticed most South Africans support Manchester United, and Ferrari, and recently that Black boy Lewis 'the championship stealer' Hamilton.

I'm not a South African supporter because i lived in Zimbabwe for quite a while, and South Africa always disrespected all our national teams, sending their 3rd string rugby side to play Zim. I don't care if the first team would have mauled them 200 - 0, it at least shows some sort of respect. Also my brother is a supporter of Manchester, the boks and all things South African, and seeing as he bullied my tiny self for years i choose to support everything he didn't.

The tables have turned though, his smaller than me now, weighs less, looks worse, and drinks more, so what goes around does come around, unfortunately we don't fight anymore, I'd have loved to show him a combo that Tyson would be very proud of. Violence is no longer the way forward, instead i jab with my razor sharp armour piercing mental spear. I'm not twisted or evil, i just know what to say when I need to make you feel pain and anger. Human emotion is predictable and easy to bring out if you pay attention to people's reactions. Although I can use my words to hurt, I often use them for good too, like making girls blush when I complement their beauty with a silky smoothness that leaves them wondering if I am man or Demi-god....OK, maybe blowing my own horn there a bit, but its not like YOU are going to blow it for me so back off and shut your jaws.

UUUh, I have a dilemma. What would you choose, pain coupled with popping some strong painkillers which leave u with a high effect, or going for surgery, spending about a month in hospital, another or more in crutches while going for therapy to teach that one leg to do what it has been doing for 19 damn years. Imagine looking down at your leg and asking it to follow the left legs lead, pleading with it to move, might have to bribe it with a promise of a foot massage and possibility of getting it a pair of crocs for Christmas......( by the bloody way, do you own a pair of crocs? If you do ,what's wrong with you, they look horrible and cost a fortune, since when has plastic with holes cost R400!! shame on you, but I command your bravery for walking out in those, or even facing your mirror).Anyhow that's the choice I face, a life of pain, or surgery and struggle for a few months after and probably Christmas in bed, and missing the great new years party we had planned!! O.k maybe I'll get the surgery straight after the party, that wouldn't be so bad. Not like I have anything to do in January anyhow.

While I'm ripping at all the croc-wearers, I might as well take a rip at all the jean dropping, wanna-be gangsters. What in Santa's name makes you think it's cool to drop your pants? Like showing the world your underwear makes you gangster. Now lets evaluate the pros and cons of dropping your pants...
PROS......
1. Your idiotic friends, who are nearly as big enough losers as you think you are 'cool,' sheep!
2. Wait for it, wait for it,........ah......nope.....I got nothing,(IF you 'thugs' come up with something, put it as a comment, I'll be sure to publish a retraction, as if, this ain't the Sunday Times!!)
Cons..
( I'll try and limit them, trust me they are that many)
1. Lets start with the gangster cons, 'niggas' and 'wiggas'(you know yourselves), if shit gets real, and the cops show up, RUNNING BECOMES DIFFICULT WITH YOUR JEANS WRAPPED AROUND YOUR KNEES. I don't care how gangster you are, you see the 5-0(a.k.a the popo, men in blue, pigs, feds, my worst nightmare, bribe takers..etc) you run like the spirit of your long dead messenger great ancestor has possessed you. If you are white, and don't have one of these, then run like you discovered a new island..(we know blacks didn't discover shit, intentionally).
2. GIRLS DO NOT FIND IT ATTRACTIVE. no girl in her right mind could possibly find dropped jeans attractive, unless you are out looking for the gangster girls who will stab you for suggesting you take a break from your relationship, then go right ahead.
3. THE BEST RAPPERS DON'T DROP THEIR PANTS, ever seen Jay-z with his pants dropped?, Lil Wayne maybe, but that's o.k for a guy who mumbles through kiddy rhymes in all his songs.
4. NAME ONE WEALTHY MAN WHO DROPS HIS PANTS, can you imagine Bill Gates stepping into the board room with his pants dropped yelling 'yo yo yo my cash money hommies.' Exactly, impossible.
5. IT defies the purpose of wearing pants if it looks like you just want your boxers to show. Wear boxers, long socks made of jean material and sneakers instead.

For the sake of keeping my readers from going into a fit of boredom, or hunting you pant dropping fools down, I'll move on.

You know what's cool, besides me, TATTOOS. Gosh I want one, but I'm not sure what of. Maybe a huge V on my back, with snakes, panthers, lions and other deadly animals wrapped around it. But i guess that wouldn't signify much, just that I'm V and I like scary animals. That isn't exactly what I'm aiming for. I'm looking for something I can be proud of, something that represents the struggle that has been my life, and has significant meaning to me and also serves as a reminder of the great people I've lost. How's about Gandhi holding a black rose in one hand, and a white shining sword in the other? Black rose representing death and pain, Gandhi himself a symbol of strong belief and determination to make a difference even though he had to go on a major diet to get noticed, and the white sword a sign of the peace to be achieved through fighting on, and showing my willingness to continue in life and never giving up!!!
Brilliant isn't it..If I find out anyone has one of those, they are sooooo going down!!!

I should copyright all my ideas from now on, before one of you gets rich from one of my suggestions.

Anyhow, I have to cook my own supper, ribs and chips here I come...